Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Poker, Lately

I've been meaning to write a little about poker lately, but have gotten caught up in other writing, so here's a few tidbits I saved for when the time was right.

Some of my favorite players have been in to play this week:

Tim 'n' M - I call him this because his name is Tim and he always wears a baseball cap with M'n'Ms on it. He's a sweet guy, never has a negative thing to say, which I like.

Ben-JAM-in - He requested to be called this, most of us just refer to him as Ben, the "C'MON, LUCK!" guy.

Greg - I've mentioned him before. He's the Comedian. ALWAYS has something funny to say - ALWAYS. And most of the time it's highly inappropriate too. When I don't see him for a few days, I start to have withdrawals.

Judy - a.k.a WHAAAT-EVEEEER! We have an inside joke about this, and it's what we say every time we meet, and every time we part, like a Hawaiian would say 'aloha'.

Duane - a new favorite who I don't have a nickname for yet - just an altogether hilarious guy, who doesn't look like a Duane at all. Young kid. Was sitting next to Greg all day a few days ago. I laughed so hard I think I peed my pants a little. I had taken a pain pill that day, which always makes my nose itch. And I don't like touching my face when I'm dealing cards because everything is so dirty. So, Duane offered up his finger as a scratcher - which was equally disgusting and horrifying and catastrophically humorous for some reason.

A.J. - yes, A.J., in the pit, after buying some of my pumpkin bread tells me it's RIDICULOUS and asks why I'm dealing cards...I should be making that stuff for a living. I tell him I'm workin' on it. When I come by to see him, he knows he owes me money from the last loaf, and I say, joking, "you got my dough?" And he would've preferred I say, "where's the money, bitch!". I would've preferred that too, but since he was bossing the craps table, I think better of it.

Jason - not a player, but my floorman some days. I'm beginning to think he might be gay - for several reasons. He doesn't have a girlfriend, and isn't interested in one. Whenever he talks about hanging out with anyone, it's always his "friend" and this last time, he was making brownies for this "friend". He's also a very gentle man. But he doesn't have much of a fashion sense, doesn't talk about decorating, and isn't really girly either. I just don't know. Anyway, on a particularly strange and moody day for the players, Jason came up to me and said, "What's with this? I feel like saying, 'Welcome to the room of cranky-pissy people, how may I anger you?' Everyone is crazy today." And I agreed. And then we thought it was funny, which I'm sure made the people crankier and pissier.

Some not-so-fun aspects of the week:

The Leprechaun, Jonathan, is a professional poker player. Or so he says. He's an angry little leprechaun. And he knows everything. And he thinks I know nothing. And he tells people that I know nothing. And I want to strangle him til the bells fall off his shoes.

Sleepy, Drunken Rick has followed me from Boulder Station, where he's been 86'ed. He drinks too much, falls asleep at the table and bums my cigarettes, always offering a dollar chip for one, but never paying it.

Pete is a smelly dealer. That's all I have to say about that.

Devin, who I shacked up with a couple times and now can't stand much, plays cards like a tool. I want to just tell him, "give me your money and walk away - this isn't your game." But I can't. And every time the action comes around the table to him, he acts like he's surprised it's his turn to bet. Every time. This holds up the game, costs me money, and is generally annoying. Especially because I shacked up with him, and shouldn't have. I blame it on the alcohol.

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