Where's My Baby, Where's My Man?

I used to be able to say that about half of my friends were married and had kids, and half were like me - single and childless.

Damn Facebook to hell for throwing my ratios out of proportion! At least when I was in a 50-50 category, I didn't feel so bad about not having a relationship or family of my own. Now, I see pages and pages of people I went to school with, profile pictures and status updates with pretty little babies, and wedding photos. Ugh, I feel so lonely and old.

My biological clock is all I can hear some days. The loudest TICK and TOCK echoing through every vessel, every cell of my body.

I have always subscribed to the theory that there is just one person out there that truly matches us, from head to toe, through and through the soul. So, where's my man? My fear is that I'll meet him when I'm in my 50's or later, too late to have kids. All dried up. And more important to me anyway is the actuality of having a child of my own. So, where's my baby? I'm very near the point of finding a random stranger somewhere, getting knocked up, and having a baby on my own, just to quench my thirst.

But, I'm holding on, every day, to the idealistic hope that it'll happen the "right way". And someone will love me, and we'll make babies together. Keep your fingers crossed for me please. Because there are a lot of wierdos here in Vegas, and I'm not too keen on the idea of procreating with most of them so far.

Dishes

How does a single person know when it's time to do the dishes?

Well, for me, it's when the dishwasher only holds a butter knife, one tupperware container, and two pot lids from the load before. And all the other dishes in my house are in the sink.

The hierarchy of dishes in my life goes something like this; coffee cups, bowls, spoons, plates, forks, glasses. Let me explain...

Since coffee and cereal are the two main staples of my diet (besides cheese), coffee cups and bowls and spoons are most important.

When I have used my favorite coffee cup, I move on to my Newport cup, then on to the small brown coffee cups, and lastly, the big white coffee cups. When all coffee cups are soiled, it's time to do the dishes. Drinking coffee in a glass, or from a bowl is too lazy, even for me.

And when I have used all plates, forks and glasses, things have gotten out of hand. This is the case today.

So, I'm proud to say, the dishwasher is running! I feel like somehow I'm saving the planet too...the fuller I pack my dishwasher, the less I waste water and energy, right? And soon I'll have a bowl to eat cereal from, and a spoon to eat it with. Happy day.